The common problems in the first year of marriage
The first year of marriage is the period when the happy couple begins to face reality and the responsibilities that marriage brings. Usually young couples start live together before getting married, but they’re still confronted with the problems of living under one roof.
Here are some on how to cope with the common problems in the first year of marriage:
Define the roles in the family
This actually is a common problem in the first year of marriage. The young couple often doesn’t talk about everyday tasks like paying bills, cleaning, doing the laundry, washing the dishes or buying groceries and usually think that it’s clear who’ll do these things – the man will pay the bills and the wife will do the home chores etc. But guess what – That’s totally wrong especially if the wife has a job and need to work the whole day. So the couple starts fight about why there are no groceries in the fridge or why the bills aren’t paid. After you two start to live together, you need to sit down and both of you should create your own little rules that you’ll follow. Determine which role each of you will have in your family.
For your parents, it’s much more difficult be separated from you, than for you to be separated from them. But now when you form a new family, you and your partner need to define how much you’ll allow your parents to be part of your life. Sometimes parents can be a little pushy especially when it comes to having kids, getting a new job or a better job etc, so don’t let their over-involvement be the cause of problems and disputes in your marriage.
Managing the money
Money is a very sensitive subject and often cause disputes and fights in the marriage. You need to talk about how you’ll spend your money. If you don’t define your goals, you’ll likely be faced with the problem of money spent on silly things. In this case the partners blame each other for financial problems. This is especially hard if both of you are working and you don’t know how to manage your money when you need to pay for things that are important for both of you, like bills, groceries etc. If you don’t want to have this issue, define the priorities in your family and plan how much money you spend on important things and how much there’s left for little treats.
Avoid being selfish
Being selfish and feeling like you’re careless also is a common problem in the first year of marriage. When you marry, you agree to form a family, and in one family there is no room for selfishness. If all previously spend money were going on expensive clothes and makeup, you now need to consider whether you’ll continue to do this. You shouldn’t always put your needs first. The time that you spent shopping and going out with your friends, now needs to be shortened and you need to dedicate the bigger part of your free time to your husband. Being intimate and close to him is too important to ignore. But the same goes for your partner too, he also have to dedicate a bigger part of his time to you. Of course, the communication that you two have is the key.
Don’t take your marriage for granted
You’ll two will get on each others nerves and you’ll probably fight for stupid things, but try to talk things out and let go of little things that aren’t worth fighting for. And if you have bigger issues, try to discuss them when both of you are calm and not distracted by anything, like your phone etc. And most importantly, don’t take your marriage for granted. Tell your partner that you love him, give him a little compliments and surprise him for time to time with his favorite things, like his favorite homemade cake or cookies etc. But the same goes for your husband too.
Having a happy and long marriage needs time and work, so start working on your marriage from the first day when you both said ‘I do’.